What Do you Say...

My youngest son was born on Christmas day, 1991. From the day he was born until this morning he has been a challenge to me. Every "no" from my mouth is an open invitation for him to practice his debate skills. And he is quite good at debate too. When he was 3 weeks old my former mother-in-law pulled his crying, inconsolable form from my arms and said, "He was born to be your nemesis." She said it in her certain way that could have meant she was teasing or not. I could never be sure. None the less, her comment rang true. There was a time when I grew quite weary from his constant queries, challenges to my authority, and his strong sense of independence. I wanted to throw in the towel so to speak. At that point I thought he was lost to me; a stranger to me on every level. We could not communicate without a fight. My weariness instructed me to stop resisting, to release, and allow. I did simply because I could not struggle & fight him anymore. Something amazing happened. In the car one day as I drove him home from the Support Site he was telling me that his friends thought I was a pretty cool Mom, and that he thinks I am too. I was utterly shocked. This comment coming from the kid who loved to tell me why I am wrong and why I am dumb on a constant basis! WOW! Things have grown increasingly smooth & easy since that day a year or two ago. He shares everything with me, and he trusts me. Recently he surprised me by spending the money he received for Christmas on a tattoo of my name on his left arm. I found out about it when I asked him point blank if he had gotten a tattoo, because I knew he wanted to. He told me he wanted to honor me and was trying to save it as a surprise for Mother's Day but since I asked he had to show me. So, what exactly do you say to your son who expresses his love for you in such a way? I love you too, baby. I love you too.

Living in the Shadow of a Sleeping Volcano

So, what is it to live in the shadow of a sleeping volcano? When I first arrived in Naples, Italy "Mount Vesuvius" really had no more meaning for me than a ride at our very popular Busch Gardens amusement park in Virginia. I did not like history in school and certainly did not pursue it once I got out of school. I thought it was boring, useless even. Then I visited Pompeii, Italy. It is estimated that when Mt. Vesuvius blew its top in 76ad it blew off the top 1/3 of the mountain. Pompeii lay in its wake and was buried under 60 feet of ash and pumice! That little bit of information really blew my mind. Instantly I was interested in the history of Pompeii. During our visit I was astonished at the way the ash had preserved the homes and businesses. The murals on the walls looked to be no more than a couple of hundred years old, with the colors still vivid and the scenes still clear. The tiles on the floors and walls looked as if it could have been laid yesterday.
As the archaeologists dug they found voids with skeletons in them. They filled the voids with plaster and discovered the shapes of bodies and the positions they were in when the blanket of death finally enveloped them. Pompeii came alive for me that day and I realized perhaps History might have a place in my life.

I was then introduced to a book called Pompeii: A Novel written by Robert Harris. I believe it is what is called historical fiction. When he wrote Pompeii he placed great detail in the facts but built the story around a fictional character named Marcus Attilius Primus who was newly assigned as the aquarius to the aqueduct Augusta just days before the volcano erupted.
It includes what the people were doing, what life was like, good guys, and "villans", and then the eruption. Another piece of history brought to life for me. Now I have such a healthy respect for the volcano Vesuvius. Look closely at the picture of Vesuvius above. Notice the lights travel to the base of the volcano. What you cannot see is that the lights continue up its sides. I live in its shadow but these people live on it! When Vesuvius blows again, and she will blow again, all of those people will die. So, what is it to live in the shadow of a sleeping volcano? I have learned the from the Neapolitans to take every moment and savor it "for tomorrow we may all be dead." Every day as I drive into work Vesuvius grows from a figure far in the distance until she is the looming Goddess of beauty and destruction. I work 8 miles from her as the crow flies. Some days the very sight of her takes my breath away. She is so beautiful and yet so ferocious and powerful. Good morning Vesuvius, Thank You for another beautiful day!

The Moon!

At first I thought this was a silly card. Then I looked more deeply and realized this is really a profound statement. The barn can be considered all the baggage of life; the ego, the material things, the mind stuff, thoughts, past, present. The moon can be seen as consciousness, freedom, oneness, truth. When you let go of the ego and all of the stuff it brings with it, then you can see truth, life, and all that it holds for us. I believe this is called enlightenment. I am in the process of burning down the barn. How? By living in the NOW, savoring each moment, being present.