Not OK

Do you ever have days when you are not OK? Today is one of those days for me. I don't mean a day where you are sick, or injured. It is something much deeper, something unsettled, something more dark than "sick and tired". Today everything feels askew, wrong, confrontational. My skin even feels as if it is on wrong. What is there to do on days like this but ride out that sour feeling, breathe deeply and wait? I think our room was invaded last night by some pain body. It penetrated both my husband and myself, deeply, to our core. He is in a rage today, ready to quit the job that supports us, ready to return to the homeland. I sit and listen and tell him if you want to go back, I am ready. Other times, I am pacifying him. Today, I mean it. Perhaps all of the offness I am experiencing is because I feel the pull to be near my family, my son. There is so much happening in his life right now and I feel I should be there to help, to guide him. My youngest should be getting his learner's permit, wants to be closer to his family. I see both sides and today, if could blink my eyes to make the change, I would do it without even a second thought. Now, where did I put that fairy dust?